Here they are folks, all 200 of 'em.
| Look at me everyone! I'm the Prime Minister of Ireland! | Homer with a barrel on his head on St. Patrick's Day |
| You know, Marge, mud is nothing more than wet dirt! | Homer the scientist |
| Mulder: All right, Homer. We want you to
re-create your every move the night you saw this alien. Homer: Well, the evening began at the gentleman's club, where we were discussing Wittgenstein over a game of backgammon. Scully: Mr. Simpson, it's a felony to lie to the F.B.I. We were sitting in Barney's car eating packets of mustard. You happy? |
When Homer saw the "alien" Mr. Burns |
| Ooh, the captain of the football team. He's a dreamboat! | Homer playing "Mystery Date" |
| Sure you've got friends! You've got the dud here! (nudges Milhouse) Stand up for yourself, Poindexter! | Homer talking to Bart at Flanders' beach house |
| Kids, kids, kids. As far as Daddy's concerned, you're both potential murderers! | Homer's reassuring words of advice |
| Keep up the roughhousing, boy. Without a strong male presence you could go sissy any moment! Oh, these stubborn grass stains! | Homer living on his own |
| Ahh! Shark boy!! | Homer after he scared everyone at the beach with a shark costume |
| If you were 17, we'd be RICH now! But noooooooo.
You had to be |
Homer loses the lottery and blames it on Bart |
| There's no Boris the Clown in North Kilt Town! You're not from Scotland! | Homer the "exchange student" challenges Willy |
| Oh Marge, anyone can miss Canada... all tucked away down there! | Homer the geography expert |
| Oh, one of those hole thingies I wish I read about that wheelchair guy. | Homer in the 3-D Halloween episode |
| (boom!) I think it must have been that bean I had for dinner! | Homer making beer in the basement |
| Now I've had my head in an elephant, a hippo, and a giant sloth | Homer gets stuffed into the mouth of an elephant |
| We could buy all kinds of useful things, like...love! | Homer imagines what he can do with $10,000 |
Kent Brockman: An oil ship has just sunk at BabySeal Beach. Lisa: Oh No!! Dont worry hunny, theres much more oil where that came from. |
Homer consoling Lisa |
| Marge, turn down the heat. That's better! | Homer's house catches on fire |
| Why you little...cotton picking | Homer fighting with Cletus |
| The best part about living in a houseboat is that if you don't like your neighbor, you can pull up the anchor and drive away! | This was right before all the houseboats next to the Simpsons' new one drove away |
| I don't know...two dollars? And it only transports matter? | Homer haggles the price on Professor Frink's matter transporter |
Homer: Ooh, I can't get enough of this blood pudding. Bart: The secret ingredient is blood. Blood? Ugh! I'll just stick to the brain and kidney pie, thank you! |
Homer tries out Sherry Bobbins' food |
| Good things don't end in -eum. They end in -mania...or -teria! | Homer before going into the Knowledgeum |
| Remember: If the building inspector comes, it's a window box! | Homer discusses the guest room with Lisa and her soon-to-be-bride |
| Being a jerk! Minus a million points! | Homer fights with Patty and Selma |
| Who can take the bags and do the twisty thing, too? The garbage man can! | Homer envisions himself as sanitation commissioner |
Marge: Homer, have you been drinking? No... okay, ten beers! |
Homer cleaning the basement |
Homer: "Well, someone's packing light!" Lisa: "Ah, mabye you're just getting stronger." (chuckling) "Well, I have been eating more!" |
Homer goes back to school |
| Sure, the calendar says 1985 now, but who knows what tomorrow will bring! | Homer cleaning the basement |
| Marge, try to understand. There are two kinds of college students: jocks and nerds. As a jock, it is my duty to give nerds a hard time! | The Simpsons go on vacation to Flanders' beach house |
| The bee bit my bottom! Now my bottom big! | Homer gets stung by a bee |
| Oh, I'm going to lose my job just 'cause I'm dangerously unqualified! | Homer fails a nuclear exam |
| AH, HA HA HA! HE DROPPED HIS NOTES! AH, HA HA HA! | When Homer was in college and the professor dropped his notes |
| Radioactive Homer: Must destroy mankind! (watch beeps) Ooh! Lunchtime! | After Homer caused a problem at the nuclear power plant |
| I kicked a giant mouse in the butt! Do I have to draw you a diagram? | Homer explains why he was a political prisoner in Itchy and Scratchy Land |
| Show 'em what American butts are made of, Son! | Bart is about to take a booting in Australia |
Oooh, Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions! I'm great at these! Ask me if something smells funny in here, Boy. Bart: Does something smell funny in here? I don't think so...STUPID! Ah, ha ha ha ha ha! Marge: Homey, do you want pork chops? No, I want roast beef...YOU CLOD! Ah, ha ha ha ha ha! |
Homer being himself |
| And then we'll wrap him up in a blanket and THROW HIM OFF THE BRIDGE! He he he! | Homer comes up with a prank against Sir Oinksalot |
| Dean, I'm sorry about the running-you-over prank! | Homer apologizing to the hospitalized Dean |
| The rest of you are in... except for you, you, you, and you! | Homer cuts kids from the football league |
| OK, most of you vibrate that way, two of you fall down, and Nelson, you spin around in circles! | Homer uses electric football to devise a pee-wee strategy |
| Flaaaaannders! Flaaaaaaaannders! | Homer heckles Ned, the football coach |
| Trabapoline! Trabapoline! | Homer sees an ad for a trampoline |
| Stay where you are! Or I'll boot your Prime Minister! | Homer takes Australia's Prime Minister hostage with a giant boot |
| Ah, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! The boot kicked Bart right in the butt! | After Bart got rejected from the tryouts to become Mr. Burns' heir |
| That's Mr. Plow! That's my name, that name again, is Mr. Plow! | The Mr. Plow jingle |
| Oh yeah, drugs, gotta have drugs! | Homer is seduced by an exotic dancer at the burlesque house |
| Hello, Mr. Burns? This is your mother! | Homer impersonating Mr. Burns' mother |
| Rats! I almost had him eating dog food! | After Bart decides he'd rather look for the dog |
| Now you can either sit here and cry, and eat dog food, and keep doing that until your tears smell enough like dog food that he comes home, or you can go out and find your dog! | Homer's advice after Bart gets rid of Santa's Little Helper |
| Do your happy dance, Mojo! | After Homer gets a helper monkey and it gets completely drunk |
| Wow, this is like that twilighty show about that zone! | After Homer discovers the fourth dimension wall |
| A buck, eh? That gives me an idea! 50 cents, please | After Lenny says he'll give Homer a buck to see the angel |
| Chester J. Lampwick: And here's a couple of
bucks for your troubles Woo-hoo! Look Marge! A couple of bucks! |
After Chester wins lawsuit against Roger Myers |
| Marge, the doll is trying to kill me and the toaster laughs at me! | The Halloween episode where Bart gets an evil Krusty doll |
HOMER : "Lisa, aren't you going to eat your porkchops?" LISA : "Dad, I don't eat porkchops, I think it's wrong." HOMER : "Well, what about bacon?" LISA : "Nope" HOMER : "What about ham?" LISA : "No - Dad, that all comes from the same animal!" "Oh, rrriiiggghhht Lisa, some wonderful, magical animal." |
When Lisa becomes a vegetarian |
| Bart, I don't mean to alarm you, but there may be a boogie man or boogie men in the house! | When Marge got addicted to gambling at Mr. Burns' Casino |
| Oh yeah? Well you can cram it with walnuts, Ugly! | When Homer becomes the voice of Poochie the cartoon dog, he got confused if he got the part or not |
| Alright you, all I have is two questions. (1) Where's the fife? and (2) Give me the fife! | When Lisa thinks that Jebediah Springfield was a "Superfraud" |
| Giving up smoking is the hardest thing you will ever do boy. Here, have a dollar. Lisa: "But dad, he did nt do anything" ...Didn't he, Lisa? Didn't he? - Hey wait a minute, he didn't! | Bart conning Homer out of a dollar |
| That dog has a puffy tail! Ooh he he, ha ha ha! | Right after Homer found his exact double outside of Moe's Tavern |
| The end will come at sundown... heheheh... wait a minute, I don't like the sound of that! | Homer reading the inscription on the angel statue |
| I NEVER apologize! I'm sorry, Lisa, but I won't apologize! | Homer after he got in an argument with the garbage men |
| They let me sign checks with a stamp, Marge! With a stamp! | When homer became Springfield's sanitation commissioner |
| No TV and no beer make Homer something something... Marge: go crazy? ...Don't mind if I do! | Homer in "the shinning" |
| You're cut too, Shushy! | Homer yelling at the credits at the end of the show |
| You dont make friends with salad! | Homer and Bart singing about not having meat at the BBQ |
| Let me live Marge, Why wont you let me live? | Homer asking Marge's permission to keep the sugar mountain |
| Mmm... free goo... | Homer tasing Bart and Milhouse covered in gum |
| Wow! $50 dollars and it's all profit! I'm the smartest business man in the world! | Stampy the elephant's food bill costs $250 for that day |
| No matter how good you are at something, there's always about a million people who are better | Homer giving quality advice to his son |
| How was Jerk practice, boy? Did they teach you how to sing to trees? and build crappy furniture out of useless wooden logs? Huh? *chair breaks* D'OH!!! Stupid poetic justice! | Homer making fun of Bart because he joined the junior campers |
| "Oh look! I'm making people Happy! I'm the little happy man in he gingerbread house on lollipop lane!" ... "Oh, by the way, I was being sarcastic!" | Marge was consoling Homer |
| Umm... Squirt the boy | Apu asks,"May I playfully squirt you with the hose?" |
| Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: You | When Bart was sending letters to Mrs. Krabapel, acting as Woodrow, and needed to break up with her, Homer suggested this |
| Must kill Moe... wwweeeeee... Must kill Moe...wwweeeeee | When Homer gets out of jail and Moe gets a girl |
| To the Simpson-mobile! | In the episode where Sideshow Bob marries Selma |
| I don't care what excuse you've got! Nothing's going to stop me in the middle of this speech! You're gonna... lemon tree??!! | When the Shelbyvillians stole the Lemon tree |
| Back, you robots! Nobody ruins my family vacation but me... and maybe the boy! | The Simpsons at Itchy & Scratchy Land |
| I love you, Cletus! | When Homer and Marge become negligent parents |
| Full power, damnit! I said, give me full power! | When Homer wants a vibrating chair |
| Lisa, dim the lights. No, turn on more lights. Oh, do something! | The whole family opening Mr. Burn's letter in the yard (Lisa turned on the sprinklers) |
| Mmm... Me | Moe gets a girlfriend and Homer is tricked into stealing Moe's car |
| Mmmmmm...open-faced club sandwich | Mr. Burns said: Why don't you use an open-faced club, like a sand wedge? |
| I do Have a soul mate! Take that, space coyotee! | After eating Wiggum's chili |
| And here I am using my own lungs like a fool! | In the nursing home after seeing Lucky hooked up to a respirator. |
| na na na na na na na na BATMAN! I mean, LEADER! | Homer is brainwashed by the cult |
| Mr. Burns, I think we can trust the president of Cuba! | Homer, Mr. Burns, and Mr. Smithers visit Fidel Castro |
| God bless those pagans | Lisa is telling Homer about the origins of Halloween |
| Now son, me and your grandpa are going into a sweeeeet, choclatey, nutty... PUT IT AWAY BOY! | Homer and Abe make the Simpson & Son love tonic |
| Hello, my name is Mr. Burns. I do believe you have a package for me. OK, Mr. Burns. First name please? ... I don't know... | Homer trying to intercept the mail |
| I cant live the buttoned down life like you, Marge. I want it all! | Homer explaining to Marge |
| Poor man, he's got all the money in the world, but there's one thing he can't buy....A dinosaur | Homer's response to Kent Brockman winning the lottery |
| Marge, you're the leader! You don't look anything like the beans | Homer asked this while Marge was breaking him out of the cult |
| Well, I wrecket the fence, but you don't hear me bragging! | Homer's response to Lisa: MomIfoundSideshowBob andgotcaughtinanuclearblast andhetriedtokillbart andI hadablimpfallonme butI'mokaynow! |
| My ears are burning... No, my ears are really burning. I wanted to see what was inside, so I lit a Q-Tip! | Homer just being Homer |
| Well, kids...you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try | Homer giving his kids some fatherly advice |
| Operator, give me the number for 911! | Homer in an emergency |
| I have misplaced my pants | Homer is wearing a barrel |
| The Internet is on computers these days. | Homer starting his internet business |
| Stupid itchy church pants. One size fits all my butt! | Homer pullin' up his church pants |
| Heres the Angel, It's the Angel, see my Angel, not your angel, next to the rakes | To the tune of Hallelujah |
| Just blame it on the guy who doesn't speak English. Ahh, Tebore, how many times you've saved my butt | Homer the American worker |
| Remember, son. The trick to avoiding jury duty is to say you're prejudiced against all races. | Givin' the boy some pointers in life |
| First I'll pull my legs out with my arms, and now I'll pull my arms out with my face! | Homer's stuck in the tar pits |
| I'm 239 and I'm feelin' fine! Look! I'm usin' the original notches that came with my belt! | Mr. Burns replies, "You're the fattest thing I've ever seen! And I've been on safari! |
| Keep looking shocked and move slowly towards the cake | Homer's brain |
| Ooh, a fresh batch of American balls! | Homer eats Bart's dog food |
| New York is a hell hole! You know how I feel about hell holes! | Homer doesn't wanna go to the Big Apple |
| Aah, Flushing Meadows... | Home of Wimbledon or Valley of the Toilets? |
| Aaah! I mean, Haahllo! | When Homer met Mindy |
| Simpson, Homer Simpson! He's the greatest guy in history! *beep* *beep* From the town of Springfield, he's about to hit a chestnut tree... Aaah!!! | To the "Flinstones" theme |
| Purple's a fruit, right? | When Lisa spends time with Homer at work |
| My two favorite words! De-Fault! De-Fault! De-Fault! | Homer wins by default and gets to ride into space |
| To start, press any key... Where's the "any" key? | Homer gets on disability and works from home on a computer |
| Three simple words: I am gay | Homer helps Bart write to Mrs. Krabople |
| It's drinking the water!!! | Homer's amazed by Herb's drinking bird |
| Aww, there's only one beer left and it's Bart's! | Bart gets a label-maker for his birthday |
| And it had a sweet, melodic voice... like Urkel! And it comes out every Friday night... also like Urkel! | Mr. Burns spooks everybody when he takes his pills |
| Try it! It's just like kissing a peanut! | Homer kisses Hans Moleman on the forehead |
| Ha! You got the dud! And he looks just like you, Pointdexter! | The Simpsons and Millhouse play the Dating Game on the 4th of July at Ned's beach house |
| I think it was called 'The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down.' | Homer tries to recall the movie 'Speed' |
| You suck-diddly-uck, Flanders! | Homer insults Flanders...again! |
| Pick a bar! What the hell is pick a bar?! | Bart communicates telepathicly with Homer, saying, 'Pick up Bart' |
| Look! That kid's got bosoms! Quick, who's got a wet towel?! | Homer gives the kids a locker room talk about not to discriminate others just 'cause they're different |
| I love you, Pepsi | Homer joins a big brother program, and gets 'Pepi' |
| Help! I'm in a place where I don't know where I am! | Homer goes 3-D |
| Bed goes up, bed goes down. Bed goes up, bed goes down. Bed goes up, bed goes down. | Homer's in the hospital |
| Cloud goes up, cloud goes down. Cloud goes up, cloud goes down. Cloud goes up, cloud goes down. | Same episode as above, but while in heaven |
| Marge, you're not gonna believe this, but I'm stuck between two vending machines. | Homer gets stuck the night he's supposed to take Marge to the ballet |
| I am so smart! I am so smart! S-M-R-T! I mean, S-M-A-R-T! | Homer goes back to college |
| Exactly! | Auditioning for a role playing Mr. Burns. Supposed to say, 'Excellent' |
| Well Scooby Doo can doo doo, but Jimmy Carter is smarter! | Homer trying to upstage Jay 'The Critic' Sherman (Kamu can do, but Sarte is smarter) |
| I know you can read my mind, boy! 'Meow Meow Meow Meow...' | Bart witness Joe Quimby NOT attack the waiter |
| I'll call you Homer Junior. The kids can call you 'Hoju'! | Homer wants to convince Bart to follow in his footsteps in his career |
| � | � |
| Aah! I think I hate Ted Koppel! Oh, wait, I find him witty and intelligent! | Seconds earlier, Flanders woke up and said, 'Aah! I think I hate Homer Simpson! |
| WooHoo! Four day weekend! | Burns' message: if Homer doesn't come in to work tomorrow, don't bother coming to work Monday! |
| I am Mr. Burns! Blah Blah Blah! I think I'm so big! Blah Blah Blah! Do this! Do that! Blah Blah Blah! | Homer using his butt to imitate Mr. Burns at his birthday party |
| Aw, come on, Marge! Maybe I'm not getting enough... estrogen. | Homer finds pills someone threw out |
| Heh heh heh! You don't have a son! | Bart wants to go to the father/son picnic |
| Hey, this is mustard! I asked for ketchup! I'm eating salad here! | Bart's hockey team's about to face Lisa's team |
| Curly... Straight! Curly... Straight! Curly... Straight! | Homer playin' with the other school's mascot, Sir Oinks-a-Lot |
| Mmm, Macamadamia nut! | Homer's big macamadamia nut cookie |
| Stupid TV! Be more funny! | Family watches unfunny comedian |
| Homer Simpson - Smiling Politely | Homer responding to 'I'm Billy Corgan - Smashing Pumpkins' |
| Lisa, just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand. | Homer trying to calm Lisa |
| Doh D- Doh Doh! | Homer pops all four tires going the wrong way over the tire spikes |
| I call the big one 'Bitey' | Homer's the monorail driver |
| If we had ten thousand dollars... we'd all be millionaires! | Homer sells Stampy to an ivory dealer |
| Mmm... 64 slices of American cheese | Homer eats all night while Burns (trying to steal back Bobo) is stuck on the ceiling |
| Shut up, brain, or I'll stab you with a Q-tip! | Homer's brain being the smart alec |
| Quick! I'd better think of a line fast! | Homer trying to think of a line fast |
| Moldy?! Old?! I'm gonna get something to eat!!! | Homer either thinking about Bobo the bear... or something else |
| First time I've ever been early for work; except for those daylight savings days, damn farmers. | Homer takes out his aggression on the farmers |
| Hello, Dean. You are a stupid head! | Homer the college jock tricking the Dean |
| Marge, I'd like to have a moment alone with my sandwich | Homer and the company picnic's leftovers |
| Uh oh... I don't understand a single word he's sayin'... why doesn't he just let me bat? *sigh* I wish I was home with a big bag of potato chips. *grins* Mmmmm... potato chips... | Homer's mind while Burns tells him the hand signals for the last inning of the big game |
| A pile of sugar is too much for one person to handle; it's clear to me now why God portions it out in those tiny packets | Homer steals the sugar from Hans Moleman's truck |
| Might I add, NO FAT CHICKS! | Homer signing with Sherry Bobbins |
| *gasp* This man looks just like me! *gasp* That dog has a puffy tail! Here puff! *laugh* Here puff puff! | Homer gets kicked out of the Moe's bar for a bad practical joke |
| It's just a little dirty, it's still good, still good! ... It's just a little wet, it's still good, still good! ... It's just a little airborne, it's still good, still good! | Homer sadly watches his roasted pig fly away |
| Whoever thought a nuclear reactor could be so complicated?! | Homer has to prevent a nuclear meltdown |
| If it's brown, drink it down! If it's black, send it back! | Homer's philosophy on drinking |
| Leaves of three, let it be. Leaves of four, eat some more! | Homer's philosophy on wildlife |
| Saxamaphone... Saxamaphone... | The instrument Lisa plays |
| When a fire starts to burn, there is something you must learn. Something something, then you'll see, how to avoid catastrophy! | Homer's philosophy on fire safety |
| Phew, all this computer hacking is making me thirsty. I think I'll order a tab... *presses the "Tab" key* | Homer the computer hacker |
| Baby on board, something something Burt Ward... Hey! this thing writes itself! | Homer the music writer |
| Son, when you don't like your job you don't go on strike! You just go in every day and do it really half-assed! That's the American way! | Homer's philosophy on working in America |
| Look! Uruguay! What the hell kind of a country is that?! Heh heh, U-R-GAY! | Homer the geography expert |
| Lisa, vampires are make-believe! Like elves, gremlins, and Eskimoes! | Homer the teacher |
| Moe, I have a friend named Joey Jo Jo Junior Shabadu | Homer's imaginary friend? |
| You see, Lisa, when two beers combine with four jumbo dogs and thirteen humongo-pretzels in the stomach, they make gas! | Homer the chemist |
| He didn't give you gay, did he? | Homer giving Bart the facts |
| Pie, I'm just gona take bites in the air, and if you get eaten, it's your own falt. | Homer talking to the pie |
| Phht... English! I don't need to know that, I'm never going to England! | Homer the linguist |
| *In a Lesbian bar* There's something funny going on here... I know! This lesbian bar doesn't have a fire escape! Enjoy your death trap, ladies! | Homer trying to find a new bar |
| Marge, can you set the oven on cool? | During the heat wave |
| Heh heh heh, the joke's on him! I'll be dead by then! | Homer accepts an invitation to Ned's BBQ thinking he'll be dead from the poison fish by then |
| Marge, you'll never guess what! My whole class is here! | Homer talking to Marge in front of the whole class |
| Marge... the door blew shut. | Marge slammed the door on Homer for telling personal secrets |
| How's education supposed to make me feel smarter? | Homer teaches an adult ed. class about marriage |
| Homer says, "Come on, Maggie. Who do you love more?" | Maggie walks to the T.V. |
| Marge, am I just crazy or is my back getting hairy? | When the kids go to Kamp Krusty! |
| Six simple words: I'm not gay, but I'll learn | Homer giving Lisa advice on dumping Ralph |
| It's not whether you win or lose, but how drunk you get | Homer's philosophy on good sportsmanship |
| Lisa, I'll give you $40 if you figure it out for me [Lisa says NO!] Allright, I'll give you $30! | Homer the bargainer |
| Keep rough housin', boy, because without a male influence, you can turn sissy over night! Oh, these stubborn grass stai ns | Homer tryin' to keep Bart straight |
| Well what are you gonna do about it? Release the hounds? Or the bees? Or the hounds with bees in their mouths so when they bark they shoot bees at you? | Homer arguing with Mr. Burns |
| Read your town charter boy. If thou food stuff shall touch the ground, thou food stuff shall be left for the village idiot. Since I dont see him around, start shovelin'! | Homer steals the sugar |
| Extra extra, Todd smells! Oh I already knew that! | Homer makin' fun of Todd |
| It all started on a stormy night,I was locked out of the house, so I grabbed a large peice of sheet meatle and ran under the largerst tree I could find | Homer the safety guy |
| Its just like the time your cat Snowball died, remember? Remember, honey? So all we have to do is go down to the pound and get a new jazz man | Jazz man dies |
| And you thougt I wouldn't make any money. I found a dollar while I was waiting for the bus! | Homer quits work |
| Ill take him...do you have him in blonde? | Homer becomes a big brother |
| *disappointed* aww, 20 dollars. I wanted a peanut! | Homer doesn't realize something very important here |
| Do I dare eat you? Mmmm... sacrilicious... | Homer talking to a waffle on the ceiling |
| Didn't he, Lisa! Didn't he! No, wait. He didn't. | The nanny episode |
| In America, first you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women! | Homer steals the sugar! |
| OK, brain I dont like you, and you dont like me, but lets just get through this and I'll go back to killing you slowly with alcohol | Homer takes a night school test |
| What the hell is wrong with me? I knew I shouldn't have eaten that packet of powdered gravy I found in the parking lot!... | Homer fantasizing about Mindy |